I'm gay and I want to kill myself what should I do?

I'm 21, my parents are devout muslims and I am from a south asian background. I know I'm gay and if they ever found out I would be the biggest disappointment to them and everyone in my family. I can't live with this fear and burden. It occupies my enter day. No one is going to accept me for who I am, the expectations they have of me are too much. No one gets me, I'm too scared to go to a public group meeting in fear of someone seeing me.I tried reaching out to other gays in my community anonymously but no one seems to want to listen. Counseling has a 5 month wait period and I really don't know if I can wait that long. I'm at the end of the rope. What should I do? Because right now ending it all seems like the only option.